Is It Sinful To Be Unhappy And Single?

A couple days ago I was listening to a sermon my friend Jackie sent me. When I visited her and my sister in Kentucky, I went to church with her and the pastor had just started a message about the Christian Family. That particular day, he was speaking to the husbands in the room, but I was still very moved by the things he said so I was excited when she sent me a message specifically for singles.

One of the first things the pastor said in his message was “It is sinful to be unhappy and single.” Don’t get too upset when you read that, he was speaking about us being unhappy at our status of singleness. He spoke from 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and spent a lot of time talking about waiting on the Lord. He talked about how our singleness should be maximized to serve the Lord and not seeking out a spouse. He talked about Adam and Eve and how when God realized Adam needed a partner, God moved on Adam’s behalf and created Eve. He explained that when the time is right, God will bring you your mate. He gave the example of Isaiah and Rebecca and reminded us that on the same day of meeting Rebecca, Isaiah married her. 

Coming to Korea was an uphill battle for, mostly because of my desire to be married, and if I’m honest with you, being around children every day has been intensifying that desire. When I left, I thought I was leaving the chance to be moving toward going from single to married. My focus was all about my status and my mind was consumed with this pseudo relationship I was in. 

At church yesterday, we sang a song that moved me. I’m not sure what the name of the song is, but part of the lyrics say “I bring an offering of worship to my King, no one on earth deserves the praises that I sing.” In that moment, God broke me. He helped me to realize I have made singleness an idol in my life. 

In the message the pastor says, “First, find your fulfillment in Him, so when God does find your mate, your mate will find a whole person.” In my head I know no man will ever fully satisfy me the way the Lord can, but my wicked heart keeps thinking I need a husband.

I’m glad the Lord is changing my heart in that area. I’m reminding myself of what God says to the Israelite’s in Hosea 2:19-20

“And I will betroth you to me forever.

I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.

I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.”

God tells us in Isaiah 54:5

 “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name;

and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.”

I will take comfort in remaining in this place, knowing God will continue growing me closer to Him. The intimacy I can feel with the Lord continues to far exceed my expectations and I look forward to more of that.

If you want to watch the sermon series I spoke of about the Christian Family, click here.

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