Do Overweight People Get Fewer Dates?

“Unfair as it is, our society still discriminates the overweight … Your weight plays a role in how other people see and treat you.” Those are the words of Dr. Frank Smoot, author of Weight Loss God’s Way, a book that greatly helped me at the start of my journey to honor the Lord with my body.

When it comes to finding a suitable mate, weight is something that tends to be used as an instant disqualifier. Online dating sites even give you the option to sort through your preferred “body type.” Statements like “I want someone who takes care of themselves” or “I want someone who is committed to exercise and health” help us explain why we won’t date someone who’s overweight.

As someone who has deeply struggled with food and exercise choices, hearing those words leaves me feeling perplexed. Yes, at some point in my life, my unhealthy food and exercise choices caused weight gain, but I would not classify myself today as someone who doesn’t take care of themselves, or who isn’t committed to exercise and health.

This is an article I wrote for Single Matter’s Magazine, to view the entire article, follow this link – Do Overweight People Get Fewer Dates?

Just Hand Over The Medium And No One Gets Hurt!

Vocab test from one of my students 🙂

I have a confession… I absolutely hate working out. I hate sit ups, crunches, push ups, lifting weights and while sometimes I enjoy it, most days, I hate to run! It’s been super cold in Korea and I have used that as an excuse not to go running. I’ve tried to play tennis but the snow and rain has made it impossible and I’ve only played once since I’ve been here. Before I came to Korea, I was playing tennis 4 to 5 times a week. Partly because I do genuinely love it that much and partly because I had an amazing tennis partner, but mostly because it is the only thing I enjoy doing that doesn’t feel like an actual workout. This week I reconnected with the athlete in me as I went for a run and worked out with the machines in the park. I literally felt the burn and instantly wanted more. 

Outdoor work out equipment that
helped me feel the burn.
This machine is a workout for your
arms and a squat all in one. Greatness!
I was warned by several friends to bring lots of clothes with me to Korea because they wouldn’t have my size here. I even took the extra step and set aside a box with jeans the next size down and shorts for the summer that my mom would send me as I lost more weight. But as much as I planned everything I packed, I didn’t anticipate how difficult shopping would actually be in this country. The Koreans are known for their inability to say things tactfully and being here has been a constant reminder that according to the worlds standards I am overweight. I’m so incredibly grateful the Lord has been working on my heart the last year and I no longer view myself according to the standards of the world but according to God’s goodness. I can see the beauty the Lord see’s now instead of the number on the scale or the size of my pants. But despite the work the Lord has done on my heart, I am still incredibly annoyed by the things I continue to put up with here.

This weekend I went on the hunt for art supplies. As I was making my way to the art store I saw sales rack after sales rack of super cute clothes. I am pretty cheap and hate to spend money but the sign screaming “SALE” always makes me stop. So, I stopped and grabbed about 6 items I wanted to try on. I took the clothes into the store and pointed at the dressing room. As I stood there waiting for the Ajumma to motion that I could go in, she grabbed the clothes from my hand, took 3 of the shirts and handed the other three back.
I was confused, until she pointed to the 3 she was holding and said “You no try, you big size, stretchy, no try.” None of the shirts had sizes on them so I had taken the time to hold each one up and ensure it would fit. I knew the shirts she had in her hand would fit me but I still wanted to make sure they looked good. I tried to take them back from her and she refused. So, I told a stupid lie and said the shirts were for my “thin” sister, just so she would give me the shirts back. I tried the shirts on and not only did they fit, they looked great! I justified her actions by telling myself  the reason she did that was because I was bundled up with 4 layers of clothes on and she couldn’t tell what size I was. But the truth is, that’s just how things work here. 
 
Sporting my size medium pullover for my run
tonight… Thank you very much!!
Tuesday on my lunch break, I headed to go get groceries. Outside of the store were racks and racks of the long sleeve workout pull overs. They had all kinds of crazy colors and they were only $7 so of course I stopped to look. I picked through the colors looking for a medium and handed two pullovers to the Korean man only to hear the words “You no medium, you big size!” He proceeded to tell me in broken English he was a medium and I am much bigger than him so I needed to buy extra large. In that moment I couldn’t wrap my head around why this man would give me such a hard time as I was trying to hand him money. It shouldn’t matter what size I am buying, it shouldn’t matter what color I am buying, if I am trying to give you money, just take it!
 
The standard of beauty in Korea is so ridiculous and I feel so bad for the girls living here who think they need double eye lids, a small face, white skin and blonde hair to be beautiful. I really wish they could see how beautiful they are. I am surrounded by gorgeous women every day who do everything in their power live up to what their culture tells them is beautiful and I just want to help them understand there is more to life than being thin and pretty.