This weekend a girlfriend of mine asked, “Would you date a man if he had all the emotional qualities you are looking for but wasn’t your physical preference?” Without hesitation, I answered “Absolutely.” Yes, deep down every girl desires a man whose gene pool will produce beautiful children the rest of the world will “oooh” …
Earlier today I was spending some time with the Lord and during our dialogue, I began to think about the man I will one day marry.
I think about him often. He comes to mind during random moments throughout the day. Hopeful wishes form as I journey through life and think of what it would be like to have a supportive partner by my side. There are many things that bring him to mind and I eagerly anticipate the day I will finally know who he is.
Today as he came to mind, I felt like I wanted to hear the Lord tell me more about him. I wanted to know what the Lord had to say about this man who holds a piece of my heart.
So, with my pen in hand, I vulnerably shared my feelings and asked the Lord, “What do you want to tell me about the one you have for me father?” and this is what He said:
“He will be patient and supportive.
He will love your passion and spur you on to greater goals.
He will love you well.
You will be his favorite thing.
He will beam and light-up when he sees you happy.
He will admire you when you share your heart with others.”
As I penned these words in my journal, these futuristic words I thought were describing the man I would one day marry, an image of Jesus in a crowd listening to me speak came to mind. I was overwhelmed with emotion. My question to the Lord was brought forth by a desire to know more about the man I would one day marry but that’s not what the words of my hand wrote down.
How sweet of my Abba to set my mind on the things above and remind me of the eternal. How loving of my Abba to refocus my attention on the one who loves me yesterday, today and tomorrow. The one who cherishes and adores me now.
As you read these words, I just want you to know how God feels about you. I want you to know how much you are loved. How special you are to Him. How much He beams and lights up as He looks at you. He is so proud of you and He wants you to know how much He cares.
This is what God says about you:
You are My masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)
You are accepted. (Romans 15:7)
You are loved beyond measure. (Romans 5:8)
You are My beloved child. (Galatians 3:26)
You are My friend and I want to spend time with you. (John 15:15)
I am with you always. (1 Corinthians 6:17)
I know who you are and I love your heart. (Psalm 139:1-2)
I have called you to do great things. You have a purpose. (Romans 8:28)
I will never leave you, I am with you always. (Isaiah 41:10)
When you are hurting, I am here. (Psalm 147:3)
Another Mother’s Day has come and gone.
Another year of my 30’s without the title of “mommy,” passes by as I sit here trying to come up with a word for what I am feeling.
Society tells me I should feel sad. Society tells me I should yearn for the day children will lift their tiny arms to me as they mumble, “hold me.”
The word to describe how I feel… Well, I’m not quite sure –but sadness it is not. You see, unlike most females who grow up playing mommy with their dolls and crossing off and re-writing potential baby names, I don’t long for the day I will hold the title “mommy.” I’m not sure if this is a product of being single, but if I’m honest, I can’t help but wonder if something is wrong with me.
Why isn’t my biological clock ticking?
Why don’t I yearn to bear children?
Am I broken?
To all the women who find themselves asking these same questions, I want to share with you what I have learned.
Deadlines create desperation.
“So, if I wanna have my kid when I’m 35, I don’t have to get pregnant until I’m 34. [That means] I don’t have to get married until I’m 33! That’s three years… — Oh, wait a minute though. I’ll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I’d like to know the guy for a year and a half before we get engaged…” – Rachel, FRIENDS
One thing I’ve come to realize in my 30’s is that deadlines can create desperation.
If we live our lives allowing the cultural and societal expectations to guide us, we can lose sight of the plan God has in store. Society doesn’t dictate your future, God does — and the timeline He operates within is eternal.
Just because your life isn’t lining up the way you think it should, doesn’t mean it isn’t lining up the way God mapped out. If you find yourself struggling with feeling like you must be hitting certain milestones, I hope you’ll take a minute to talk to Him and let Him remind you of what lies ahead.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
When I think about the excitement and eagerness I see in other women as they think about the prospect of motherhood, it’s hard not to think something is wrong with me. I can’t help but wonder why I don’t long for those same life events. But in those moments, God reminds me that He doesn’t want my focus to be on those things right now.
Instead, He wants my focus to be on the things He’s called me to do in my present season. Presently, He has called me to a season of preparation and projects. Presently, He has my attention and energy focused on other things. If I was longing for a husband and children, I may be distracted from the very thing He desires to be the center of my attention.
Be encouraged by the words Paul writes in 1 Corinthians, to experience fullness in your season of caring for the things of the Lord and to serve the Lord without distraction.
Women give birth to more than children.
In her article, Giving Birth to More Than Children, Sundi Jo shares a great reminder that children are not the only thing women give birth to. Women are nurturers, lovers and creators. Women imagine, envision and produce. Whether it is a project you are working on, a book you are writing, or a person you are mentoring, you are playing an integral and God intended role in everything you are doing.
The Lord has called you to this season. Wherever you are, He wants your focus to be on what He has in store.
Embrace the silence of your biological clock and praise the Lord for lowering the volume so that your focus can be on whatever He has that lies ahead.
There have been two distinct times in my life when I’ve wanted to call it quits and break up with Christianity. The first was in my early 20’s and the second was last week. Both times I felt frustrated, overwhelmed, and sick of doing the right thing. Both times I wished I could go back …
I grew up in the suburbs of Dallas, Texas. My mom was an Attorney and my dad was an Architect. Life was pretty good for the most part. I took care of my younger sister and got good grades in school, life was pretty good. Everything appeared normal on the outside but my dad was doing …
Tall, dark and handsome. If there was a way for women to create their perfect match, I bet the majority would throw these three adjectives in the mix. Women swoon over tall, dark and handsome celebrities, they visualize what the tall, dark and handsome fictional characters in their latest romance novel really looks like, and …